Elopement Explained
Everything you need to know about eloping
This “Elopement Explained” post is your ultimate resource that covers everything you need to know about eloping – from the absolute basics to detailed planning tips and cost breakdowns.
Elopement Basics
What is an Elopement? The modern definition.
The concept of an Elopement has been around for ages, but the meaning behind it changed drastically, especially in the last decade. Looking at the old, literal definition in a dictionary, „to elope“ appears to mean something like „running away secretly to get married without parental consent“.
So while it used to be a wedding shrouded in secrecy and quite a bit of drama, the new, modern definition looks vastly different.
In the 21st century, an Elopement is the perfectly normal alternative to a big, traditional wedding and by far the most intimate way to get married. It’s about having a small and intentional wedding experience that is actually about you as a couple, instead of all about your guests (though it can still include some guests).
By eloping you intentionally choose to get married on your own terms. You won’t follow what weddings traditionally look like, because you simply know that it’s not right for you.
And the best part – an Elopement can literally take place anywhere on earth.
Whether you’re exchanging vows on a mountaintop at sunrise, explore rugged coastlines with epic views or wander through historic cities – there are no rules or limits to this.
Imagine it as the most fun vacation day ever, where you just happen to get married as well.
How is an Elopement different from a wedding?
I know it’s not always the case, but when I’m thinking of big weddings, they feel like a performance. Like a show that you’re putting on to entertain your guests.
They usually involve a big venue, a long guest list and many months (or years) of planning. Also, speaking of planning one, there are a million tiny little details that need to be taken care of.
And I KNOW they can still be fun and enjoyable for some people. But after seeing it with my own eyes countless times – for most, they’re a stressful and unauthentic day that passes by in a second and also happens to cost a fortune in the meantime.
Elopements however allow couples so strip away all of that. No speeches, no drama, no pressure, no expectations.
They bring the attention back to what the focus of your wedding should actually be: The fact that you’re marrying the love of your life!
Suddenly it’s not about traditions or obligations and instead about being free and your true self. You’re not planning a day that’s for everyone else, you’re planning one that’s truly yours.
Learn more about the 4 key differences between Elopements and Weddings. (COMING SOON)
Why do people elope?
There are countless possible reasons why couples choose an Elopement over a big wedding. Some say they only feel like themselves outdoors and want to combine their love and passion for a travel adventure with their wedding.
Some also (still) seek an Elopement as a safe space, because their families or the society they life in might disapprove of their marriage or sexuality.
The overwhelming process of planning a big wedding is also daunting for many and they’d rather have something smaller and simpler, that’s also way easier to plan.
Knowing that the stress and anxiety of a wedding would make you feel dysregulated is also a great reason to elope.
Or, having seen how your friends didn’t enjoy their wedding, because they had a strict timeline to follow.
And sometimes, it’s simply about doing whatever the hell you want and having the freedom to break the rules and enjoy a day without any limitations!
Is eloping selfish?
I mean, when weddings are usually about everyone but you, then maybe eloping is a little selfish? But is that actually an issue? I don’t think so.
If being true to yourself, knowing what makes you feel happy and setting some healthy boundaries is a bit selfish, so be it.
Getting married is one of the most intimate and personal experiences of your life and you don’t need to explain your choices on this to anyone – especially if those choices are the ones that actually align with your values and desires.
And if you’re honoring your love and relationship by creating a day that reflects who you truly are, that’s 100% okay.
So having an Elopement means you’re self-aware and self-respecting. Isn’t this also the foundation for a great marriage?
What do you do on an Elopement day?
It sounds silly, but anything you want, really. With no traditions to follow, your Elopement day is designed around what feels right to you as a couple.
Maybe it looks like this: You start your day slow, sleep in and enjoy a long breakfast in a cozy cabin. Afterwards you get ready, put on your wedding attire and set out with your Elopement Photographer and Planner.
You then visit multiple stunning locations and one of them will be the perfect spot for your intimate ceremony and vows. You end your day at sunset, enjoying some final breathtaking views as the sky turns red and concluding an experience like no other.
Or how’s this? You’re putting on your hiking boots before dawn and hike to an epic overlook or mountaintop to exchange your vows at sunrise. Though the rest of the day is still filled with adventure – like canoeing, horseback riding or getting on a helicopter.
You could also explore a charming town, stop for pastries and espressos, say „I do“ in a gorgeous park and enjoy an intimate candlelight dinner.
There’s no right or wrong way to elope. Because remember? This is your day – without any rules or boundaries.
To get some inspiration, take a look at my list of the 20 best Elopement activities.
Do you need to hike when you’re eloping?
No, you don’t. If hiking is your thing – great, let’s absolutely include that and hike to an epic place like a mountain peak or a hidden waterfall!
But if it isn’t, don’t worry. You can still explore places that are only a few steps away from your car and don’t require any hiking at all. Or simply elope in a city where everything’s easily accessible.
Looking for some inspiration?
Discover what eloping looks like:
Guests & Family
Can you invite guests to an Elopement?
Yes! Choosing to elope doesn’t have to mean it’s just the two of you. Because as we’ve established before – this isn’t about secrecy anymore, it’s about intentionality. So if you feel like bringing a few of your closest people along for the day/s (or parts of it) fits your vision, then simply do so.
When my wife and I eloped, we had our three best friends with us for most of it and absolutely loved it. While it wasn’t the case for us, this can also come in handy when you need 1-2 witnesses for a legal ceremony.
However, any guests you choose to invite should fit this single important criteria: They need to be the people who truly support you, make you feel welcome and loved and ultimately make your day even more meaningful.
You don’t have to invite anyone out of obligation. I mean, that’s probably one of the reasons why you ditched the big wedding in the first place.
The key here is choice. And if embracing this adventure with just the two of you is what feels right, then do it!
There’s also some middle ground, though – more on this right down below.
How can you include friends and family but still elope on your own?
Luckily, if you want to elope all by yourself but still include a few people in parts of it, there are a bunch of different ways to do this.
Before your Elopement:
At your Elopement:
After your Elopement:
How to tell your family you’ve eloped
So, let’s assume you’ve eloped all by yourself and told no one, or only a few people about it. What now?
Some might feel a little disappointed and have expected to be included in your wedding. And that’s okay, so we want to be a little considerate of peoples feelings here.
The key is to not frame it as something you did against them, but something you did for yourselves. You’ve simply made an intentional and joyful decision that you knew was right for you.
Here are three possible ways to break the news:
Tell your most important people face-to-face (or via video call) once you’re back home, share your excitement and reassure them that they still mean the world to you.
Record a video right after your ceremony when your emotions are running high to express yourself without any interruptions.
Or send out cards to announce that you’ve gotten married. Just don’t send them all at the same time! Your absolute closest people (parents, siblings etc.) should get them first, so delay the rest by a day or two. The cards could also be an invitation to a little get-together to celebrate your marriage.
And if they’re a bit unhappy about your decision initially? No worries, just give it some time. Because at the end of the day, your wedding was about your love – which is something worth celebrating, no matter how it happened.
Legalities & Ceremony
Is eloping legal?
Of course! Eloping is absolutely legal, but there’s a bit more to it. To legally marry at an Elopement, you need to abide by the marriage laws and regulations of the country you choose as your destination.
In those cases, there’s a bit of paperwork and a few different documents that need to be handed in.
However, no one said you have to legally marry when you’re eloping! And most couples actually choose not to.
Because the day you say your vows, exchange your rings, become lifelong partners and commit your entire lives to one another doesn’t have to have anything to do with paperwork or legalities.
Taking care of this at home (either before or after your Elopement) doesn’t take anything away from it. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
It allows you to enjoy way more freedom and to have an intimate, heartfelt and true-to-you symbolic ceremony that simply feels right.
This way you can have the adventurous Elopement you’ve dreamed of, without having to deal with foreign legal stuff.
Which documents do you need to elope?
When planning to legally marry at your Elopement, please remember this:
The things that need to be taken care of, the required documents and paperwork and especially the timeframe for it can change drastically depending on both your home country and the country you want to get married in.
Doing some in-depth research or hiring a local planner who’s familiar with the legal side of things is key here.
Still, to give you an idea, these are the documents that are required most often:
Valid Passport / ID
Birth certificate
Divorce Decree / Death Certificate
If one you is divorced or widowed.
Marriage License
Acquired at the local registry office of your Elopement destination.
Certificate of no Impediment
A certificate from your local registry office that states you’re legally allowed to marry.
Do you need witnesses for an Elopement?
It depends, but usually not, since many countries have dropped the requirement for witnesses at civil ceremonies.
And even if they’re required, you can often still elope without them. This is because your photographer can easily act as a witness and the registry office can usually provide another person to sign the paperwork as well.
If you’re planning a symbolic ceremony, you don’t need anyone with you anyway (expect for your photographer, of course).
Do you need a minister or officiant to elope?
While there are a few rare exceptions for self-solemnizing locations that allow you to legally marry without an officiant (like some US states and parts of Canada), usually you’ll need one – at least for a legal, civil ceremony.
However, if you’re planning to have a symbolic ceremony, it’s entirely up to you whether you want someone to officiate it or not. This could also be done by a friend or someone from your family.
Dreaming of your own Elopement?
Make it become reality:
Planning & Travel
When do you need to start planning an Elopement?
Thankfully, Elopements don’t need to be planned nearly as far in advance as traditional weddings – especially if you’re having a symbolic ceremony instead of a legal one.
In theory, and with quite a bit of luck in securing vendors, you could organize everything in just a week or two. In reality, though, it’s best to give yourself a few months.
I’d recommend deciding on at least a general location and rough date 6–10 months before you plan to elope.
This is also the time to book highly requested vendors, like your Elopement Photographer. But as always – the earlier, the better.
3–6 months before your date is when you should book your travel and accommodation and finalize any legal paperwork you might need.
After that, you’ll have the remaining weeks to sort out the details, double-check everything, and get excited for what’s to come!
How do you plan an Elopement?
As mentioned below in step 3, your Photographer is usually the one who assists you throughout all of this, as most Elopements (especially those without guests) don’t require an additional event planer.
Having an experienced Elopement Photographer is therefore a vital part of your experience and takes a lot of things off your mind.
Generally, the process of planning an Elopement looks like this:
Step 1: Create your vision
What would you like to do and see on your Elopement?
Step 2: Date & location
Choose the place that excites you the most and mark a rough date in your calendar.
Step 3: Book your Photographer
This could even be step 2, since your Elopement Photographer plays a huge role in planning and bringing your vision to life.
Step 4: Budget
Set an approximate budget for your travel costs, attire, rings and vendors.
Step 05: Legalities
If applicable, research and gather all required documents for a legal ceremony in your chosen destination.
Step 06: Vendors
Reach out and book any other vendors, like an officiant, florist or hair & make-up artist.
Step 07: Book your Travel
Book your flights, accommodation and additional things like a rental car.
Where can you elope?
You can elope literally anywhere that feels right to you. Which sounds exciting, but can also be a blessing in disguise, since having unlimited options might be a little overwhelming at first.
So if you’re feeling a little lost, don’t worry. Actually, most couples aren’t quite sure about their destination in the beginning.
When trying to figure out where you might want to go, start with this:
Think about the most amazing place you’ve ever been to. What did you enjoy about it? How did it make you feel? Or more generally – If you could go anywhere in the world, where would that be?
Try to decide where to elope by thinking back to the places that made you feel the most alive.
Eloping is also a great chance to check off some incredible place from your bucket list that you’ve wanted to visit for years!
Need some help or suggestions? Take a look at the top 3 Elopement destinations on my own bucket list!
Is an Elopement your honeymoon?
It can be! Actually, most couples choose to make their Elopement part of their honeymoon, which also happens to save them thousands in the meantime. They spend an amazing day at their destination and then continue their travels afterwards.
This could either mean exploring more places in the same area / country or even hopping on a plane to visit another destination.
Making your Elopement part of a bigger trip truly feels like „two birds with one stone“ and ensures you have the time to enjoy these first exciting days of your marriage and let it all sink in.
Cost
How much does an Elopement cost?
It’s quite hard to put an exact price tag on eloping, because it depends on a lot of different factors. You can go as simple or as extravagant with it as you like.
One thing is almost always true, though: an Elopement is significantly more affordable than a big, traditional wedding.
The biggest cost factor will likely be your own travel costs. Flying business class vs. economy, or staying in a luxury hotel vs. an Airbnb, can make a huge difference. But keep in mind – most often, an Elopement doubles as the honeymoon.
Another flexible cost factor is your attire, since a dress or suit could cost anything between $ 100 – $ 10.000, depending on what you want.
Lastly, whether you invite guests also plays a big role in your budget, too. Booking an actual venue for your ceremony or catering for your guests changes the required budget a lot.
That being said, here’s what you can roughly expect in total cost for different kinds of Elopements (not including your travel costs):
Simple, local Elopements with limited photography coverage typically cost somewhere between $ 1.000 – $ 5.000.
Destination Elopements with more planning, extended coverage and 1-2 additional vendors mostly fall in the range of $ 6.000 – $ 12.000.
Multi-Day Elopements or those with luxury extras (like a private helicopter) can cost anywhere between $ 15.000 – $ 25.000.
In comparison, the average price tag of a traditional wedding with 50-150 guests in the US and most of Europe ranges from $ 25.000 – $ 60.000.
The huge contrast in price is just one of the 4 key differences between Elopements and Weddings. (COMING SOON)
How much does an Elopement Photographer cost?
Investing in stunning photos to not only remember what your adventure looked like, but also what it felt like, is incredibly important when it comes to Elopements.
Photography costs vary based on several factors, including the amount of coverage, add-ons, travel fees and your photographer’s experience in planning and capturing Elopements.
Local Elopement coverage typically ranges from $ 1.500 – $ 3.000, while international bookings can cost anywhere from $ 5.000 – $ 12.000, depending on the specifics.
Find out more about my own Elopement packages and pricing to get a better feel for this.
